Delayed Gratification

Ever since Tom Hiddleston talked with Cookie Monster about delayed gratification I haven’t quite been able to get the concept out of my head.  And not for the obvious Tom-factor, although it was my first assumption too.

It’s just so damned applicable to so many situations.

I have been applying the principle to the kids because I can’t help but think it might be easier to learn as a child. And they say second languages are easier to learn as a child, so maybe it’s true with life concepts too.

So when they wanted a piece of candy and I wanted them to be quiet (and it would seem like a win-win situation) instead of saying an automatic, “Yes, yes, fine!”  I would say, “Yes, you can have one.  After dinner.”  And they’d whine and thrust themselves about the room as if agony, real dramatic-like.  But that’s how we all learn life concepts….with a whole lot of thrashing about and complaining.

But what about me?  If someone dared even suggest I wait for my morning coffee, it would result in all out-stomping-to-my-room-and-slamming-the-door-type of tantrum.  No delayed gratification there.  What about on the road?  Did I take the slow driver in front of me with good stride and slowed down graciously, my destiny being a reward of delayed gratification?  Uh, no.

In fact, as a culture we all kind of forgot about delayed gratification.  Really…if we can’t get it fast (AND personalized) we get impatient. Cranky.

I can get like that.  In fact, I realize how much I go towards quick easy-to-do projects just to get stuff done fast.  So it’s weird that I’ve found myself wanting to build a house. For more than a decade it’s been a weird nesting drive.  A yen.  An actual yen to construct a home.  This is not a small undertaking. This is odd for me.  I have taken to a less-is-more approach with complicated projects.  That is, I decided years ago, after my third son was born, that I really wouldn’t be taking on any more complex hobbies or projects.  Um, no.

But damned this house-building bug.  I have not been able to cast it aside.

I designed luxury treehouses in my mind long before I saw the treehouse show on cable TV.  Having no appropriate tree, I scaled back to a doll house about ten years ago.  I got frustrated early on.  The directions and I spoke two different languages.  Both were English, but their language was of dimensions and measurements and doing things in an orderly fashion and painting the window panes as the first step.  “No, no, no.  I don’t think this way,” I thought and I shelved the project where it would stay until my husband rescued it for me a few years back.

After tree houses and doll houses failed, I began to ponder drawing houses.  I wanted to learn how to draw Victorian houses, specifically.  I have always been obsessed with their round rooms and towers.  I read books on drawing houses and realized that to draw properly I needed to understand perspective.  Which, I don’t-not artistically and often not in real life either.  Needless to say, I didn’t draw any houses.

But on my birthday trip to Michael’s craft store this year, I found a simple, inexpensive kit to build a house.  A Victorian house.  I bought it and determined to do it right.  Come hell or high water…this house will be built.  And, adding emphasis to my inner drama, I thought, “And I will do it alone!  A woman and her house!”

I started it today and let me tell you, it looks like it will be a process.  Some real dedication is what is called for.  Consistent effort.  Hmmmmm……(sigh).

Two steps have taken me all day.  And as for doing it on my own?  Phil has already had to step in and explain the instructions to me.

{Me: It seems like I’m missing a wall.  Am I missing a wall?  Because…..welll…I’m missing a wall.

Phil, scans the directions and glances once at my work: Yeah, you’re missing a wall.  From Step 1.

Me: Hmmm….confusing.}

But I determine to do it the right way which also happens to be the slow way.  It often is. Especially when you don’t do things the right way the first time.  Really, it’s a practice in humility and patience.  Yum.

But halfway through the second step today, I became aware of myself while painting.  Although it was taking FOR-EV-ER to make progress, I was enjoying each little thing.  The painting of the walls and making sure I got each edge covered in paint, smoothing out any ruffled paint.

I had an upbeat smirk on my face and my eyes were glazed over.  I was high off of this project.  Naturally.  (It wasn’t paint fumes….I was well-ventilated-promise).

I was in love—in a Zen state.

It made me realize that we miss out on this a lot when we won’t slow down and allow delayed gratification to take place.

It’s probably going to be a long-ass time before I finish this house.   I’m almost counting on it.

And, hey, maybe it will make it all the more sweet when it is finished.  Or I’ll miss making it.

It’s all an experiment, folks.    You never know.